Monthly Archives: September 2017




probably you have more courage than you think.

 Just like the lion in the Wizard of Oz, you probably have more courage than you think. While you may find it difficult to ask a stranger to stop talking during a movie, you’d rise to the occasion if a wicked witch threatened you and your friends.

In real life, you could wait for a crisis that will bring out the lion in you or you can start now to practice habits that will build up your courage. Try these 3 steps that will help you to overcome the doubts and fears that hold you back from fulfilling your dreams.

Face Your Fears:

1. Reframe the situation. The words you choose to describe an event can have a profound effect on how you feel about it. View challenges as opportunities and try to avoid exaggerating negative consequences. When you’re stuck in a long line, think of it as a chance to catch up on reading the news.

2. Evaluate inaction. It’s natural to want to run away from the things that scare you, but avoidance comes at a high cost. You might lose a friend because you sidestep a sensitive conversation where you could work out your differences.

3. Manage stress. Maybe you’re not even sure about the source of your fears. Dealing with daily stress reduces your anxiety levels, so find relaxation practices that work for you such as meditation or listening to music.

4. Seek support. Asking for help can be a sign of courage. Reach out to loved ones or a professional counselor if you need help.

5. Start small. Major undertakings become less overwhelming when you break them down into more manageable parts. Work your way up to asking your boss for a raise by being more assertive in situations where you have less at stake.

Strengthen Your Purpose:

1. Dream big. Courage expands your vision. Imagine what you would do if you could set aside any limiting beliefs. Find something that you value more than your pride or comfort.

2. Clarify your goals. To get tangible results, it’s crucial to translate your vision into a practical plan of action. Identify exactly what you’re going to do.

3. Create a timeline. You’re more likely to stay on track if you decide what actions you will complete today or by the end of the month. Deadlines increase accountability.

4. Keep a journal. Put your plan into writing and post it someplace where you can see it. That way it will stay fresh in your mind.

Build up Your Confidence:

1. Think positive. Focus on what you have to gain. Use your self-talk to give yourself reassurance and encouragement. Identify areas where you want to make changes, and be willing to laugh at yourself.

2. Get organized. Cleaning up your surroundings can make you feel more relaxed. Clear off your desk each evening and cut down on clutter at home.

3. Come prepared. Doing your homework helps you to place more trust in your abilities. Research a company before going on a job interview or talk with a carpenter before tackling a home improvement project.

4. Stay fit. Caring for your health and wellbeing is one way to value yourself. Eat a balanced diet, exercise regularly, and get adequate sleep and rest.

5. List your accomplishments. Boost your morale by reviewing your track record. Your past victories prove that you can succeed at future tasks.

6. Stretch your skills. You’ll have more confidence in your abilities when you consistently work at increasing your competence. Take business courses online or study a foreign language.

Train yourself to be brave. Learn to master your fears and persist through challenges. Enjoying a more meaningful life is the ultimate reward of building up your courage.

Niji No Hashi Dojo Martial Arts Cary,NC

Ninja Skills That Can Help You Meditate

5 Ninja Skills That Can Help You Meditate
When you think about ninjas, the first thing that comes to mind is probably a figure in a black bodysuit jumping across rooftops and swinging a sword. In reality, ninjas have to be philosophers as well as warriors. It’s that quieter side that can come in useful even if you don’t engage in combat and espionage.


For example, many ninja skills can help you to meditate more effectively. Take a look at these 5 things you would learn about in ninja school.

Spiritual Refinement

  • Know yourself. Meditation and Ninjutsu both begin with looking inward. Set aside time to sit down and clear away distractions. Focus on your breath and find out what you’re really like.
  • Understand your purpose. Examine your mission in life. What would you want your legacy to be? Think about how different your daily schedule would look if you devoted more time to your top priorities.
  • Leverage your strengths. Figure out what you’re good at. How can you adjust your professional and personal life to take advantage of your unique gifts?
  • Learn from experience. Some new students are surprised when they discover that instructions about meditation or Ninjutsu are sometimes vague. The point is that spiritual attainments come with effort as you develop your own insights.

Disguise and Impersonation

  • Accept change. Just like ninjas assume another identity to infiltrate an enemy camp, you can become more comfortable with seeing yourself from a different angle. What happens as you age or take on new roles and responsibilities?
  • Shift your perspective. Putting yourself in someone else’s position is the kind of acting that can enhance your relationships. Contemplate how you could resolve a conflict by seeing it from your friend’s point of view.

Stealth and Entering

  • Appreciate silence. Being quiet is good for sneak attacks and meditation. Create a space in your home where you can get away from phones and televisions.
  • Develop suppleness. You can sit down to meditate for longer periods when you’re flexible and agile. Many practitioners also believe that removing physical stiffness helps your thoughts to flow more easily too. Take a stretching class or work out at home.


  • Set goals. You’ll accomplish more when you identify goals and take specific steps to achieve them. Use your meditation sessions to evaluate areas of your life where you want to make specific changes.
  • Practice deliberately. Plan out your actions in advance. Focus on tasks that are a little outside of your comfort zone so you’ll continue to learn and grow.
  • Master timing. Success is often about knowing when to slow down and when to speed up. Take time to sort out major decisions or process a situation before you criticize others. Act quickly when you spot a promising opportunity or need to repair a mistake.
  • Be innovative. Think creatively. Listen to unusual ideas with an open mind and experiment with what works for you.

Escape and Concealment

  • Know when to quit. While perseverance usually pays off when you’re moving in a constructive direction, sometimes you need to cut your losses. A ninja knows when to retreat. Use meditation to recognize and let go of patterns that are holding you back.
  • Enjoy nature. Ninjas often use natural forces to their advantage. You may have trouble turning yourself into a tree, but you can boost your energy levels by heading outdoors to meditate or eat lunch.


Monks aren’t the only ones who know about the power of meditation. Training like a ninja can also help you to develop greater mental strength and wisdom.

Niji No Hashi Dojo Martial Arts in Cary and Morrisville, NC

Recognize the Warning Signs

Do You Recognize the  Signs of Pursuer-Distancer  Patterns?

Do You Recognize the Warning Signs of Pursuer-Distancer Relationship Patterns?

Many relationships run into trouble because one partner seeks more closeness while the other seeks more distance. It’s a cycle that psychologists call a pursuer-distancer dynamic.

Typically, during the initial infatuation stage, you both want to spend as much as time as possible together. Then, reality sets in. One partner feels like they’re not getting enough attention, and the other feels suffocated.The more the pursuer clings and nags, the more the distancer criticizes and pulls away.

To make things more complicated, the roles can sometimes change during the course of the relationship. For example, when the pursuer decides to move on, the distancer may suddenly start trying to win them back.

Minor fluctuations are natural in any relationship, but this cycle can become destructive if it becomes too intense or persistent. If you see such warning signs in your relationship, try these more effective methods for staying close.

Steps to Take When You’re the Pursuer:

1. Meet your own needs. Be honest with yourself about how much you’re expecting from your partner. You may be exhausting them if you’re placing excessive demands on the relationship. Try making new friends, cultivating outside interests, and fixing your own dilemmas.

2. Ask for what you want. Your partner is more likely to respond to polite and reasonable requests than nagging and vague hints. Make it clear that you’re asking for something, rather than putting them down.

3. Level the field. Who texts more in your relationship? A slight disparity may be insignificant, but if you’re reaching out too much, you may need to exercise some restraint. Resist the impulse to leave repetitive messages just because you want assurance. Try to match each other’s communication frequencies.

4. Back off.It’s essential to talk things over, but you also want to choose the appropriate time. If your partner seems overwhelmed, encourage them to take a break. Schedule your sensitive discussions for a time when you both feel up to the task.

Steps to Take When You’re the Distancer:

1. Build trust. You’ll miss out on love if you try to protect yourself by holding back. Instead, learn to trust by remembering that you’re strong enough to deal with disappointments. Notice how your partner shows their concern and good intentions, and treat them with compassion when they make a mistake.

  1. Share your feelings. Risk being vulnerable. Start small and work your way up to the deeper issues.
  2. Show affection. Let your partner know you appreciate them and find them attractive. Hold hands at the movies or give them a hug when they come home. Make eye contact when they’re talking and ask questions that prove you’re listening.

4. Spend time together.Share your time. Plan a romantic weekend if you’ve been working extra hours for the past month. Wake up early on weekdays so you can get together for breakfast.

Steps to Take in any Relationship:

1. Hold yourself accountable. Focus on how your behavior contributes to the dynamics in your relationship, rather than blaming your partner. You have more control over your own choices.

2. Spot your triggers. Increase your awareness of how you may be inadvertently sabotaging your happiness. Notice when you’re trying to get your own way by checking in too often or withholding affection.

3. Work together. Remember that you’re on the same side. Support each other as you’re trying to develop healthier patterns of interaction.

A healthy relationship allows you and your partner to balance your needs for autonomy and intimacy. Replace the pursuer-distancer cycle with more open and respectful communication so you can both enjoy more love and satisfaction.

Niji No Hashi Dojo-Martial Arts- Cary,NC